Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
