your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
