areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
