Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
