I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Randomize
