what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
