my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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