Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
