Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
