3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
