Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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