wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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