How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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