wakey wakey hands off snakey
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
