so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Randomize
