Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
