I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
