I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
