He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize