What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
