Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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