he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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