Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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