Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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