john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize