Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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