My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
