I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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