he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize