obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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