I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
