That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
