I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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