I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
