you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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