The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
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