That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
