There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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