If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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