forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
