So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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