Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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