Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
