you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
