I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
