just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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