Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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