quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
