im about as happy as oj after his trial
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
