For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
