If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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