Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
