Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
