I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
