I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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