he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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