how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
