Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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