thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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