Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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