i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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