I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
