My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
