You just made me feel so damn special
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
