bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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