it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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