I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
