Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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