their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i just google imaged poop.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
