i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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